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Divorce is among the common and rising issues in today’s society. That, as an experience, is quite stressful for the families going through it, especially when there are children are involved. Children belonging to any age group, are equally confused, have a lot of questions, experience conflicting feelings when they have to deal with or go through divorce of their parents. Often, even the most concerned and attentive parents struggle to meet the needs of the children with such an issue. Thus, counselling children going through a separation becomes crucial and is, in fact, recommended.
 

Given these situations, there is a rising demand for dedicated professionals to support and guide children as they deal with the separation of their parents. The role of a school counsellor is, thereby, quite crucial in providing strong support during and after a divorce.
 

Divorce and Children
 

Divorce gets complicated when there are children involved in the process. Children are the ones who have to bear the brunt of or are deeply impacted by parents’ divorce. These effects may often tend to cause severe mental health issues. It may intensify the chances of anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicide among children and teens. As a school counsellor adept at student counselling techniques, you can help avoid these by watching their reactions.
 

What are the signs that a child is struggling with a parent’s divorce?
 

Such signs might vary with individuals, but mostly include:

• Acting out in school or at home
• Shutting down or withdrawal symptoms
• Changes in their usual behaviour
• Increase in rule-breaking or disobedience
• Angry or irritable mood
• Signs of self-harm
• Displaying much more or much less emotion than usual

School counsellors can provide necessary support to the learners through direct counselling or indirectly via services to institutional administrators, educators, and parents.
 

Helping Children Understand
 

During a divorce, it is often the young, along with the parents who struggle to make sense out of the entire situation. They often wonder about what is happening to their family, and what the future holds for them.
 

Helping children understand the situation and cope accordingly should be the foremost goal. For the school counsellor, this means being an advocate for the child as well as a guide for the parents during a separation. Listening to the child facing a similar situation can allow the counsellor to provide a voice, ensuring their needs are being considered and understood by parents. It can be tough, especially for very young kids, to make sense out of the many emotions that comes along with a separation and divorce proceedings, much less put those feelings into words. Counsellors can provide some perspective, assurance, and often as informational aid to such children during a vulnerable time.
 

Simultaneously, counsellors can also help parents realise and evolve into their new roles, developing their parenting skills to make situation a collaborative, rather than an isolating process. It is not just a legal process for the grownups. Parents, too, have their needs for emotional support and therapeutic guidance just as children. Counsellors can choose to provide a session for the family to help them support each another, communicate regarding the challenges and concerns, and at the same time, feel understood and included throughout the transition.
 

At Home and At School
 

The transition process of divorce doesn’t just affect children when they are at home. Very often family disputes can make its presence felt at school where children are susceptible to anything from minor misbehaviour to a more serious kind of disruptive act, while their academic performance may be at stake.
 

Teachers and peers can misunderstand, or entirely miss the emotional triggers and stress that stimulates a child’s behaviour at school over the course of parental separation. Punishing these kids in a way that only aggravates and adds to the problem. School counsellors are often a child’s best advocate for contextualizing and dealing with the misbehaviour resulting from such emotional turbulences.
 

Counsellors can provide support for such children while they’re at school, coordinate with parents and other teachers to productive deal with behaviour, performance, and communication barriers. Counsellors can aid students to meet and connect with others who are experiencing or gone through a divorce, thus enabling them to support one another and understand that they are not alone.
 

In certain cases, school counsellors may also have to act as advocates or as shields for children of divorce. Handling legal rights issues, privacy, and their well-being. Even well after a divorce, counsellors have to balance the interests and rights of children with the expectations of parents.
 

In all, help can be extended to children going through parental separation situation by:

• Individual counselling
• Group counselling

Several group counselling types are available which can prove beneficial to children of divorce:
 

Situational/transitional groups offering emotional support; release; and information sharing about stress, mutual feelings, and similar experiences.
 

Structured groups can teach children the ways to deal with crisis situations via group discussions, role playing, and the use of drawings and collages.
 

One-day workshops for children between the ages of 10 - 17 can use sentence completion exercises, assertiveness training, and films about divorce to help members explore values and assumptions about marriage and divorce, thus learning to express and cope with their own and their parents’ emotions, and develop strong communication skills for handling difficult situations.
 

New Beginnings
 

The emotional trip for a child doesn’t end with the divorce. Constant counselling is vital in helping them adjust to their new, developing perception of “normal” as a result of the legal separation. The changes in their home can start showing effects as well in their social lives, academics, and of course their continuing development of identity. So, having a communication outlet and the emotional support of a school counsellor can be a source of stability and assurance that helps them cope with their everyday life.
 

The support the counsellor provided during the separation process remains valuable in the long run. Parents can use it to turn their love into skills to deal with their children, particularly when they are going from a couple to a single-parent household. Children and parents can struggle alike with the changes of custody and the way it affects relationships, rules, and support for a child’s schooling. It is the counsellors who can help bridge the gap and provide lasting guidance to families as they continue to grow and change.
 

Thus, school counsellors play a vital role in helping children deal with the process, and the aftermath of a divorce. The requirement for counsellors to work with children and their families is certain to continue as long as marriage and divorce exist in the society.