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Do you like to feel sad? I guess nobody does.

Sorrow is an intense emotion and can often be hard to deal with. Many perceive it as a feeling that seems like it will never go away. You may try your best and give all you've got to push these emotions down or even try to ignore them. But ignoring emotions isn’t quite helpful in making them go away. Even trying to do so can oftentimes lead to bigger problems later.

As a teacher counsellor with school counselling techniques, acquaint your learners that they can’t just push emotions out of the way and get rid of them. It doesn’t work like that. Trying to do the same is usually a matter of distraction and avoidance. Once the diversions cease to work, the feelings will still be there needing to be dealt with. To your dismay, the consequences of turning away from your feelings can be worse than the feeling it. So, what can be done? Teach your learners to embrace their emotions and feelings.

Embrace Sadness

In one of our previous blogs, we discussed learning and teaching emotional aspects from Disney’s ‘Inside Out’ which is undoubtedly one of the biggest lessons. The movie emphasised how the other emotions were not allowing Sadness to make much of an impact in Riley’s life. It was like a direct reflection of the way Riley’s parents etched on her subconscious; to be their happy girl and take everything in stride, even during a difficult transition. This becomes evident with Joy’s determination to limit Sadness from creating an impact in Riley’s without realizing that she, too, has a place and space as an emotion. It costs her having a conflict and her own mental breakdown to realize the fact that emotions work in sync. It also motivated her to push forward and get out of her lost memory pile. Sadness helped Riley realize she shouldn’t run away and should open up to her parents about her feelings.

 

We are constantly dealing with the pressure to ‘appear happy’ all the time and so are the young individuals. This leads everyone to not confront our sadness. External stimuli or messages of being ‘strong’ and having ‘good vibes’ are exhibited by social media, but the backing to steer clear of sadness often begins in the early years. Adults will simply tell crying kids to stop with their whining, even when they have a reason. That early messaging creates a deep root within us that it is not okay to be openly sad because it makes others uncomfortable. As an educator with school counsellor skills, it is your duty to make children understand it’s okay to let their emotions out. Have a face-to-face session with parents if required.

Plan activities or show them videos that are at par with your learners’ level of understanding that sadness doesn’t feel pleasant but it’s a necessary emotion. We, human beings, have the right to experience an array of emotions. It is completely okay to cry. The emotion of being sad permits individuals to listen to ourselves and process emotions rather than burying them for momentary comfort. If we try and ignore it, we are only preparing for a future explosion (maybe even over the tiniest of issues). Sadness also gives us a look into our compassionate core, provides a needed release, and has the potential to help us view a situation with emotional clarity. So, it is better to embrace the feeling of sadness, rather than ignoring it.

Emotions Aren’t Good or Bad

We often tend to classify our emotions; as in joy is good, sadness is bad, anger is bad and so on. Young individuals are typically taught that it’s important to put on a brave or smiling face, to respond to “How are you?”, “Hey, what’s up?” in a positive or neutral way, and that the ‘good’ emotions are the most important ones. When in reality, emotions aren’t good or bad - they are what they are.

So, what might happen if you ignore sadness?

Trying to be numb with the pain, so to speak, takes more time and energy than it might be anticipated. It also takes an emotional toll of its own. It can have the following impacts in the long run:

• You may not feel sad, but you also won’t feel happy
• You create problems in other areas
• You can develop bad, even dangerous, habits
• You lose out on life

If you find that your learners are going through painful emotions, don’t ignore, don’t try to numb them, and don’t try to bury them with distractions. Instead, take out the time to acknowledge their feeling/s, and if needed, help them.

Sadness is one of Riley’s five emotions and possibly the most misinterpreted among the group; she becomes an unlikely hero in a situation where every possibility of overcoming it goes in smoke. Inside Out teaches that Sadness is an important and necessary emotion.